To whom it may concern......!

I've recently untertaken employment (!) and am working at Pallotta's Italian Grill. Cool, since it's pretty much 7 inches from my house. I can literally insert a CD, drive to and from work, and when I get home the first track isn't even halfway done. You guys could only say that if you were listening to Sigur Ros or The Mars Volta.

So yeah, pretty soon I'll be like

I also got a new phone provider and a new phone. Note to all Cingular customers: we are best friends now and can talk for an hour short of infinity for freebies.

I got some new underwear as well. A whole new life, see?

I mean...okay. Obviously there's nothing funny about people dying of bird flu. But if an epidemic absolutely HAD to break out somewhere, and it couldn't be avoided, and it had to be the most ironically comical situation possible........well, I think fate really nailed a bullseye with this one.

This is a review on Yahoo Local for the Hooters in my area.



I guess it's official, fat people don't take care of themselves.

So. lots of bad news.

First of all, People named Matthew McConaughey the sexist man alive. Barf. I guess if you think dropping out of high school, wrestling crocodiles, and high amounts of THC are sexy.
Because that's all I see when I look at that guy.

Bad TV news also. This will be the last season for Arrested Development and Scrubs, proving that Americans who watch basic cable sitcoms aren't intelligent enough to laugh unless they hear someone in the audience laughing for them. Scrubs I don't really mind; it was on a bit longer and was starting to get too dramatic. But the AD case is a sad one.

Oh, and then there's general "the world is going to shit" bad news.
Recently, a town in my state formerly known as Clark, Texas, changed it's name to Dish, Texas, in a promotion for the Dish Network. The town's residents received ten years worth of free satellite service in exchange for the name change.

Isn't this disgusting? There really is no end to the Advertization of this country. I wonder how long it will be before I live in Chevrolet, TX and enroll my kids in Coca-Cola University.

I'm definitely going to sit inside and watch movies all day. Tea will be involved.

um
wtf, dictionary.com....




close-minded = hen night.



ETown CDown: 39 DAYS.

I have no idea why you guys keep me friended. I never update this thing, I seldom comment in your most interesting entries, and when I do update it's always with frivolous stuff that wouldn't enlighten a wombat. If livejournal were Survivor, I'd be voted off faster than a 900-lb. cannibal who never washed and only expressed himself through interpretive dance.

But still, I press on. And am grateful. I definitely owe all of you backscratches.

So my last semester at community college has begun. And while I'm aware that an institution where tuition is only slightly higher than a meal at the Olive Garden probably won't offer the best minds to guide me, I've been appalled by my professors this semester. BOTH of my online classes' professors have the Spring syllabus posted, not to mention no assignments or instruction a week into the course. I'm really goin' far with these paper mache building blocks of knowledge.

Lest we forget my psychology professor, who says "axion" for axon, "neutral" instead of neural, and even had to ask how to pronounce amygdala. are.you.kidding.me.this.man.is.a.doofus.

We also watched a very objective video on Kinsey that didn't agree with at all, but the video was on pedophilia and whatnot so any opposition I vocalized would probably just translate into "Seriously, who has a grade school son or daughter that I can spend an evening in a Motel 6 with?"

So thar be me scholastic exploits. It's an adventure worthy of an entry, if not anything else.


And on a sidenote, I'm really digging this Wolf Parade cd. Anyone who likes (or doesn't like, you never know) Modest Mouse should definitely check them out, they're extremely talented.

COUNTDOWN TO E-TOWN: 41 DAYS.

I hate when Kim Jong Il's name is the headlines. For two reasons.....

1) Some crazy shit is about to go down. That man lost his marbles...and then hunted them down and destroyed them.

2) For just a split second, I always go "WHO THE HELL IS KIM JONG THE SECOND?!?!?"

HOLYFUCKITSHOTOUTSIDE

Okay, so, I've been taking this Creative Writing course online, and needless to say, some of these kids produce some funny shit. And I hate to exploit them, I really do, but these are just too fucking funny. Hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

The Adventure

As my friend and I trot to the crystal blue lake,
We see hidden in the grass a fat green snake,
With a semi-colon tail as sharp as a rake.

We can’t run very fast because of our hat
So we will have to creep just like a bat.

Both of us are only the age three,
And there is no way on earth that we even have a degree.

We really don’t see anyone
And there is no way that this adventure is fun.

I tell my friend to take an eyelash and make a wish
Surely the snake will turn into a fish.

We walk a little further and see and whirlpool
It seems like the lake is getting more full.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Independence Day

All of the colors in the world represent meaning today

it was as if God had given us a rainbow at night

except it wasn't God, it was man

as a child it didn't matter

blues, purples, green, yellow

too bright for me to look at

who ever heard of wearing sunglasses at night?

but i had to

the falling rainbows were just too bright for me

did these night-rainbows represent a convenant to us like Noah's day-rainbow?

a new land...

a new beginning.

a future so bright that perhaps our forefathers had to wear shades

I don't think they had sunglasses back then



.......

of course, the bolded part is my favourite.

Oh yeah, and new journal styley. Not sure if I like it though. New icons, too. HAWT.

Guys, call me. Let's hang out.

Happy birthday to Colin Quinn, Sandra Bernhard, and myself.

And to Sandra, of course by "Happy birthday" I mean "Why are you famous."

Okay, so I just finished reading about this new roller coaster at Six Flags Great Adventure theme park in New Jersey. It's the tallest one on Earth, goes 128 miles an hour, and is the scariest thing I've seen in my life. It just doesn't look natural....

( WARNING: THESE PICTURES CONTAIN EXPLICIT IMAGES AND ARE RATED 'A' FOR ACROPHOBE. PARENTAL DISCRETION IS ADVISED. )

The Dismemberment Plan - Emergency & I


What essential indie rock album are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


As if I'd be anything else.

( To-do list for Friday, April 29, 2005. )

Mandatory update.

Got DVD burner in the mail today, although so far it's failed to complete a successful project. Yeah you heard me DVD burner, you're being a shit. Tuscan meatball soup, you can stay. Goooooood meatball soup.

Everyone's ignoring me on AIM today. Maybe last night someone put something in my drink and I became a crazy buffoon who tried to kiss everyone's girlfriend and embarrass my friends and I woke up with no recollection of the night before.

.....that's what happened to Richie on this episode of Happy Days I watched last night.

I like to avoid all meatballs in soup bites until the very end, that way, the bottom of the bowl is of a meatball majority.

There's just not enough drama in my journal. I need to make up Puerto Rican girlfriends who cheat on me and then I get taken advantage of by another girl who seduces me but then Puerto Rican girl comes back but finds me with new girl so she bashes my headlights in with a baseball bat.

Casting starts tomorrow.

Hope this finds you well.

I am: wasting time as I wait for my ebay auction to finish.

I am: listening to Blueline Medic.

I am: eating Lay's Limon potato chips.

I am: wondering how they don't have any grams of sugar. Limes have sugar, people. Sugar's even listed in the ingredients. Count again, guys. There is treachery afoot.

I am: convinced that the LJ entries I write that contain a picture get so many more comments than those that don't. Like this one? No one's gonna read it. I DON'T ALWAYS HAVE PRETTY THINGS TO SHOW, KIDDOS.

I am: sorry that I just yelled at you.

I am: through with the chips now. This means I must fold the top of the bag over a few times and fasten it with a handy device known as a "Chip clip".

I am: wondering why every potato chip-preserving device has the word "clip" on it some form or another. Chip clip, bag clip, Super clip. Good thing they say that. Otherwise I'd just use 'em as paperweights or boomerangs.

I am: sexier than all of you.

I am: just kidding.

I am: hoping you all are having good days.

I am: now done with this. =P.

I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO RIGHT NOW. AUGH.

So I figured I'd write about it.

I've been ditched twice in one weekend. You'd think people didn't want to see me or something. Has the flesh-eating bacteria really gotten that bad? Let me know and I'll wear some scuba googles or something...don't just cancel altogether.

I'm beginning to think my professors are euthenizing me via assignments. I guess I better get used to it though. My mommy tells me life outside my oxygen bubble can be pretty rough sometimes....

Stop saying Mitch Deadberg, it's mean, the man was a HERO.

BAD NEWS: I can't wear my John Paul II shirt and pretend I'm the Pope anymore! =(!!!


Me, broken up about my obsolete shirt.

I think, since a fair amount of individuals have the last name "Pope," that we should have a Pope Pope I. At least one of said individuals has to be a Catholic.

Daylight Savings Time is a wonderful thing. I hate it when it's dark before primetime. If Will and Grace is on and it's dark outside, A) barf, change the channel and B) it's a sad time of the year.

Lego Star Wars is cute, but they need to come out with Lego Lord of the Rings, for the sole purpose of the character Lego Legolas.
This is a recycled joke. Bite me, I like it. At least it's my own material.

THE END (for now).

A lot of people watch a lot of bad TV.

But not I.

Just don't look when I watch the O.C.

There's your stinkin' update.

Ahhh I can't believe I'm talking about my weekend on Wednesday. God damn schoolwork. Now...to the beef!

Well, Eddie came home for the weekend....or the "WeekEd," as he deemed it. Filled with rain, frivolous spending, and good time fun. We had tickets to see Jim Norton, who miraculously was scheduled for the exact same weekend.

Norton continues to make me laugh like a little girl, and I was glad he mixed in some old material with his new stuff because for some reason I was really in the mood to hear it. He talked far over the standard 45 minutes, which didn't have me complaining much. A very very good evening indeed.

Stand-up is such a beautiful thing. If anyone's down for a comedy club, anytime, anywhere, let me know, will ya?

Saw Constantine. Was good for the first half hour or so. Then completely changed, and it was all downhill from there. Apparently I had to pee during the best part. Oh well.

It's weird...I had the feeling it was going to be somewhat awkward spending 4 days with someone I hadn't seen in forever. I thought we'd have little to talk about and it would be hard to adjust, but it was actually the opposite. It was like there'd been no time apart at all. WEIRD!

Eddie went home Monday and I began to realize how far behind I was in my classes, so I basically busted my ass to catch up. It was all worth it, though.



Three men....just like in jail. Whatever that means, Jimmy :0

( John Stamotopolycarboniteonomatopeiaunitedarabemeratestalahasseeopoulos... )

This made my night.

According to the warranty for my recently purchased headphones, they are not protected against acts of God. So check your bullshit "lightning-bolt-to-straight-to-your-headphones" stories at the door people, 'cause Sony's not buying it.

( Thou shalt take full responsibility for any and all fury and destruction I unleash upon thine earphones. )